A Child's Rant
by IluthraDanar
Summary: Castiel felt that God had abandoned Heaven. He was right, but what he didn't know was his Father had been watching him all along, with plans for a joined Heaven and Earth. Kind of explains why Cas always came back. Comments welcome please.


**A Child's Rant**

**I do not own the world of Supernatural or its inhabitants.**

Dean was looking down at Castiel, disappointment etched on his tired features. How many times had he warned the inexperienced, albeit powerful angel, to stand down from his plans to stop Raphael. When had Raphael become Castiel's obsession? Why was he acting on this damned personal vendetta, to the exclusion of the Winchesters, his trusted friends for these past years, and as if **he** were the only one who could do the job? Why had he bent over for Crowley so easily? Dean knew that Cas had done what he felt he needed to do, despite Dean's warnings. There were times when he wanted to relent, to give Cas all his trust and support. But he couldn't. What the angel had planned was foolhardy, and now, sadly, Dean had been proven right.

Sitting up on the floor, bloodied, weak and without focus, Castiel realized his errors, but it was too late to go back now. He had wanted to complete his mission, and hopefully, now that it was all but finished, the Winchesters and Bobby Singer would forgive him. It was Dean in particular he wanted forgiveness from. He had seen the anger and hurt in his eyes every time he had popped in on the man. Their last conversations had been both acrimonious and regretful. It tore at Cas' heart to see his friend, his human brother, at odds with his plans, when he had fully expected his ready support. Dean didn't trust Cas anymore. Even now, the look in his eyes spoke volumes. _Cas, you blew it. _

Castiel had chosen his path, and had tried to make amends along the way. He saved Dean, all of them in fact, from attacking demons sent by Crowley. He had allowed Lisa and Ben their lives back, as Dean had requested, by erasing their memories of the hunter and their life with him. He had begged Dean to back off without question, he had begged for understanding, he had all but begged for his trust. It didn't matter. Not that Cas would have killed Dean, even if he was lost to him, and insisted on fighting him. Human, friend, brother was the progression, and now, enemy. In the end, Cas stood alone. But Raphael had been stopped, and now the souls were back where they belonged, in Purgatory. But there was something left behind, something that ate at Cas...from inside.

Standing nearby, the one Castiel called Father watched His favorite Son battle with his brethren, hidden from even Castiel's sight. He had destroyed one of his own brothers, the rebellious Balthazar, feeling betrayed when Balthazar had chosen to side with the humans. Father smiled when He thought of that Son. He was very human, very much the most troublesome of His Sons and Daughters. Gabriel, on the one hand, had run away from home, partook in and enjoyed the human vices, but in the end, he had died an archangel, loyal to his Father's children. Balthazar, even when helping the humans, had maintained his own identity, apart from his heavenly origins. That was his mistake, for he no longer knew the danger that Castiel could bring, and had died for it.

Castiel lay there, broken but hopeful. Father felt that hope strongly within the angel's Grace. Sorrow and sympathy filled His being. Compassion prompted Him to want to heal His Son. But He did not. The test had been played out, with the humans giving their Creator satisfaction that He had chosen well. As for His Son, the test was not yet over. Castiel had to prove himself one more time.

Although most would say that Michael had been His favorite, Michael had grown too obedient. Father wanted His Sons and Daughters to be free-thinkers. Unfortunately, like with their brother Lucifer, many had become contaminated by freedom, unused to the feelings it gave them. They turned to evil, even when professing heavenly goals. Castiel had proven an angel could be free and still maintain his angelic persona. He had respected his brethren, and had come to love humans too. Well, some of them. Still, the potential for growth was there. So, keeping His eye on the angel, He protected him, and even resurrected him when he had been killed. The one thing Father could never do was reveal Himself to His Son. He knew the angel had been searching for Him, and had grown bitter, feeling abandoned by his own Creator. But Father hoped that His Son would come to know eventually, where his continued existence came from. Castiel would think ill of Him, calling his Father uninterested or even thinking Him dead. Many of His children on Earth felt the same. Father would watch and help when it was deemed. But things would never be the same. No longer would Father be there all the time. Mankind, His children, had grown beyond needing Him. And His Sons and Daughters had been purged, their numbers winnowed down to those who would do just fine without Him. Together, man and angel would build a world fit for them both. And He would find another planet, and begin all over again.

Standing next to the human Dean, Father was looking down at Castiel. He was really just a child, even as old as he was. He had ranted, albeit quietly, as any child rants when his plans are thwarted. But he had succeeded. There was only one more test Castiel needed to pass before earning a new life, one filled with choices. Father dared not speak directly to His favorite Son. Instead, He entered into the human, briefly using him as His vessel. This human, who loved His Son more than Castiel had ever been loved by his own kindred. Father realized if lessons were to be learned, they were best learnt with the Winchesters. The angel was being left in good hands.

"Cas, you child! Why didn't you listen to Me." ~~~_**Be healed~~~**_ Then, before the human exploded from containing all His Glory, Father left, and went in search of a new world.

Castiel looked up into Dean's face, his eyes seeking consolation. Instead, he thought he saw something else. And he knew what he had to do.

**A/N: this story was inspired by someone on youtube who said they felt that Dean wasn't himself when he said those words to Cas. I had the idea that God was preparing to abandon the world, not out of hate or disinterest, but out of trust. His children would work together, with a renewed Castiel as leader of the angels. 2012 would be a year of change, but instead of "end of the world" scenarios, the change would be good. Anyway, I hope you liked it.**


End file.
